Despite going in fairly confident about an idea that could take-off my pitch ended up the complete opposite. The things myself and others in the room found were that it was hard to understand what my story was about and what direction it was going. I had the 2 themes of language and brothers in the fledgling idea, but I essentially over complicated it with an overdrawn backstory about a secret government agency. Presentation below:
Brali from Alexander Barker
This whole experience has already taught me that simple is better and watching several short films during these weeks has only further confirmed this phrase. When trying to develop a story only designed to be under 20 minutes in length the more I add the longer and more unnecessarily cluttered it becomes.
This film below is under 20 minutes and manages to convey an alternative shape and form of grief to a musical man played by Richard Kind.
What Cheer? - starring Richard Kind from Five Eyed Films on Vimeo.This film below is under 20 minutes and manages to convey an alternative shape and form of grief to a musical man played by Richard Kind.
What also appeals to me in this story is the lack of dialogue and how this mans emotions can be conveyed through the face of the actor and the crazed band that follows him around as a perfect metaphor for grief to a man who thinks in music.
Just today I also watched a short film from 2011 called 'The Voorman Problem' which is a great example of a simple story in the style of magical realism. Starring Martin Freeman and Tom Hollander, the film has Freeman's character a psychiatrist arriving at a prison to interview a man who believes himself to be a god (Hollander). This simple but intriguing premise messes with the viewers mind and eventually surprises.
These inspirations have in turn lead me to abandon my original pitch and take it down a notch to a more simple story with a good message and theme that can be followed.
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