FIRST DRAFT: RETOUCHING THE DIALOGUE

I have decided to make some adjustments to the script we were given. They are not that major, but I will still need to check to see if it is ok.
I feel that because of my directors style some of the remarks made in the script were not really appropriate. I have kept the general structure the same not changing who says what.

I will be typing this re-write out in full with actions on Final Draft, but I can only do that at the studios.

I know this sounds lazy location searching, but I think I would like to film this in my bedroom and my flats corridor. I have already thought it out in terms of logistics and such.

Here is the re-jigged script in its roughest form, that is in my notebook:

In the opening here I have skipped the formalities as such, essentially because this is not really a friendly encounter.

Rather than being so blunt in dialogue I have changed it so as to suit the situation more. Cliff the other character is in a vulnerable life threatening situation, which I would like to toy with in this scene.

As for the end I have left it fairly ambiguous in terms of violence (I do have budgetary concerns).